Hi there. As I write this, I am now on my flight to Taipei. Today is 29 December, currently 12.45pm. A lot has happened few days ago. On 27 December, I spent my night with B, knowing that I’ll be gone for 2 weeks soon. He booked a hotel room nearby his home at Tsuen Wan and we had sex again. We are great together. He is such a sweetheart. I like we soaked ourselves in the tub, laid on top of him, holding him tight. And how he looks like an angel when he sleeps. I am still not used to having someone sleeping beside me but I feel safe. I feel comfortable enough beside him. So I asked him when is he going to ask me to be his girlfriend while we were in the tub, although we practically done everything what girlfriend/boyfriend would do. Still, I need his words, proper verbal consent. He didn’t hesitate and of course I said yes. I can tell he adores me a lot and he’s like a little puppy or the fox from the Little Prince, and I am the little prince, and he is so tamed by me.
The next day, he started asking more serious questions about future, life, dreams, etc. heavy stuffs over lunch and I am a little concerned about him. After lunch we parted and I took the ride to Sheung Shui, visited D for one last time before to go, or before he goes back to UK and never ever come back again. It is always funny to see how things turned out between us. He just walked away from a grueling on/off fling that he is the emotional bitch in that relationship, albeit they have only met 3 times in person. And I just confessed to him that I just lost my virginity to someone I knew online, and within a week, now he’s my boyfriend. Life is complicated and he had this epiphany that he probably will not come back to HK. A little over a year really changed us all and we will try to stay in contact as much as we can.
At night, I noticed B was cold with his messages and I figured out he might be pissed with the fact that I might go clubbing. He didn’t want to stop me but he is definitely not liking the idea of me getting drunk and dance and touched by other guys. He said I can do whatever I want. But I felt sarcasm in his words and I assured him I’ll not betray him or cheat on him in any way because it’s a spiteful thing to do. He is a little assured but at midnight he suddenly asked me, ” Hey, do you love me?” I freaked out. Although I knew somewhere along our relationship this thing will comes up. It just a matter of time but I don’t expect to be this fast. We have only confessed out liking towards each other but never the lxxx word. And he dropped the bomb. I went brutally honest with him. “i have to say that i really like you and i really enjoy the time we spend together. but we have only met in person for a week and i am still trying to grasp on the reality” “i don’t know what to say because i really don’t know how i feel”. He was offended. And he replied me with ice. “Alright, it doesn’t matter” I don’t blame him but I don’t want to spoil the good. “no, B I know it matters to you that’s why you asked. But I can assure you that I am definitely not romantically involved with other peoples, or in love with other people”. Again, he blasted back with “Of course. Have fun in Taiwan”. It was a nightmare. But I told him I wished I book the trip with him and I asked if I can call him. It was a nice gesture before I go. Make sure he is fine. I think he might be in love with me already. On the other hand, I’m puzzled. I need some time to sink in with what have happened lately and my life. I’ve been happier than ever since I met him, I bet he feels the same too. I know I really like him and adore him and I really care about him. But at the same time, do I love him? I’m still not too sure about it.
When I finally realized he didn’t hear/remember what I said and asked whether we are bfgf. So we decided that our official date is when we first kissed: 12 December 2015 (1221). 🙂