I start to wonder what is more left to dig, to discover, to uncover my unconscious.
I have figured out that my family is never gonna be the same and my parents are probably never gonna be the same.
I have accepted it, starting to embrace the fact as it is.
I had my days, good and bad.
But the insecurities.
The emotion. Still haunts me from time to time.
But I don’t know why.
I can’t think of the reasons for that.
I have reconciled my relationships with my parents.
I have admitted to the things that I wouldn’t really want to.
I have grown to love myself more than anything.
Still, emotions swallow me.
“Oh, little child, love, why are you crying? There is nothing that you have not known of.”
“I don’t know. I just want some love. Why people have to leave me?”
“They are not leaving, love, no one is leaving you, no one is going anywhere.”
“No one understands me. Why did no one understand how I feel? No one seems notices how I feel. ”
“People notice, your mom noticed it. Oh, little child. I know your dad knows it too. Some of your closest friends noticed it. You know you’re loved. You know you are. I know you feel alone. But how can anyone understand you when others never really understand themselves to begin with? Sometimes, you don’t know yourself very well too, isn’t it? Maybe it is like that. Maybe sometimes you have to let it be. We can never really understand ourselves, truly see through ourselves isn’t it?”