Last Saturday, finally I got to meet him over a movie night. Originally we should have met up for dinner but as he has to finish up his work just so he won’t have to go back on Sunday to deal with the deadline. To be honest, I am touched. I am the first one he sees soon after he finished his 20days non-stop no day-off ordeal. I’m flattered. But I don’t get the chance to have a real conversation with him, it really grinds my gear. I can’t catch his thoughts. The whole point of me seeing him is to talk, not the movie. On the way home walking alone, I had this thought till date it bugs me. “What do I want from this relationship? What do I get from this relationship?” I don’t know. I don’t have the answer. It really makes me wanna evaluate everything. One thing I know, my inner child really wanna cry and be comforted.
I want to talk but I simply can’t bring myself to talk to him about these because these feelings are all mine. There is nothing much I can talk about.