Pangs of sadness.

It has been a tough few days. I either study or long day training at sam or school project intern or EEG. It has been okay. Although my mood is not as perky or elevated as last week, I tried to keep my head up, reciting my mantra hang on hang on a few more days  and try to stay as calm as possible.

And recently there has been some earthquake happened in Nepal and it is devastating. Nepal, although is not my homeland but after I’ve stayed there for almost three months, I grew attached to it. I always have this affection for Nepal and I always yearn to go back. I can feel my heart ache and want to cry about it.

I’ve been feeling slightly aroused recently, sexually. That warm arousal that stuck on your skin. I don’t know. I have the thought of finding a fuck buddy, or getting some sexual reliefs but no avail. I have no good candidate. The guy, Alan from SAM really caught my interest but gah, I think he must have a girlfriend already.

And I just received a email reply from my beloved teacher Chan Sir from my ABC class. I felt really sentimental about our whole program has just finished. He is a brilliant teacher and I don’t know, I just feel the pangs of sadness.

There are so much sadness in this few days and I have no one else to talk to. I must hang on for a while, at least till this Wednesday.


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