The things that I couldn’t tell you.
You were always the coping mechanism. Losing you is like losing a limb. I felt handicapped.
I am left with emotions that no one to share with. The joys, the tears, the pain. No one is telling me I will be okay.
Because everyday I wake up in the morning and I feeling terrible and misery and yet there is no one I can tell.
The nights where I feel tight chest and anxiety and insomnia, I have no idea what to do with myself but to cry myself to sleep, hoping that will make the anxiety away.
I want you to know that I am in pain but I can never tell you that. I always blatantly saying I am fine.
I don’t want to put the burden on you. Somehow I always want to put up a happy face in front of you although I know I am not fine.
I am not fine.