Things that I couldn’t tell you.

The things that I couldn’t tell you.

You were always the coping mechanism. Losing you is like losing a limb. I felt handicapped.

I am left with emotions that no one to share with. The joys, the tears, the pain. No one is telling me I will be okay.

Because everyday I wake up in the morning and I feeling terrible and misery and yet there is no one I can tell.

The nights where I feel tight chest and anxiety and insomnia, I have no idea what to do with myself but to cry myself to sleep, hoping that will make the anxiety away.

I want you to know that I am in pain but I can never tell you that. I always blatantly saying I am fine.

I don’t want to put the burden on you. Somehow I always want to put up a happy face in front of you although I know I am not fine.

I am not fine. 

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