Living under someone else’s shadow.

Living under someone else’s shadow.

I finally understand what those words really mean.

Illusions. 

I realized, I cared about D way too much. Try to observe his life from afar. Think of him a few times a day in a ritualistic manner. I don’t remember his face that clearly now but I still remember how he made me feel. But everything is distance. So far away. He didn’t even care about me. He never messages me, he never skype me. He never did any of it. I tried to reach out but he never seems to care enough. He is always too busy for me and he never did call back, even after days. I guess I am always the one who is clingy and overly attach. I live in his shadow. He casts me a long shadow and living under it is what I know. It was comfy and consuming me too, eventually. I am angry with both him and myself. I am angry at him because he never does anything to maintain this friendship. I am angry with myself because I let myself live under his shadow, devote myself to him and I crave for his love and affections. But there isn’t any.

All I ever did is hoping that one day, someone could give me the love.

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