I felt my ego was bruised when my dad commented that my essay sucked. I admit, it really sucked when I read it one last time for grammar checking. Full of errors.
Still, I am upset for not being good enough. I tried to avoid skyping with my parents as much as possible because I lied about my Taiwan trip that I am going with a friend but the truth is I am going alone. I feel incapable too. Because i have nothing good to tell my dad that it makes me feel bad and less worthy of a person when I talk to him. I feel that am just not good enough.
And I am an emotional mess. I don’t feel Hong Kong is my “home” anymore. I don’t feel my “family” as “home”. I feel lost. I just want to get away. I don’t feel belonged to something or someone. I longed for a “home”. The song “Home” by Gabrielle Aplin once sang “they said home is where your heart is…”.
Maybe my heart don’t belong here anymore.