When you settle for the only love you think you can get, for someone who doesn’t mind you being around, for someone who lets you love them — someone with whom you just kind of are, without real effort or desire reciprocated both ways — you spend your life in a hope-sustained limbo. You’re constantly pining for someone who is only ever that far out of your grasp. Every time you close your hand in on their own, you come up with air. You scroll through social media hoping to find their face, to know what they’re doing, if only to feel as though you’re with them for a moment. Every ring on the phone is a spike in your heartbeat; everything they do, you imagine doing with them, if only, if ever.
You initiate everything. Texts and times to see each other and nights you stay over. You’ve met their roommates, their…
View original post 894 more words