I’ve been thinking. I’m upset. I’m angry. I’m sad. I’m filled with all the emotions that I don’t think I should have or deserve. I love him. I really do. But the thing is unrequited. And it is draining me, tearing me away piece by piece. I don’t like the sad me. I don’t want to feel upset about things and people that wants nothing to do with me. I’m feeling unwanted. Disposable. I feeling lesser of a ‘me’. I’m losing myself in him. It is unhealthy. D has nothing that I want. Things that I need he can’t give it to me. There is no promises at the beginning. There won’t be anything good at the end. Maybe love don’t have expiration date. But one year has passed, I don’t think I can wait much longer when it is long due. I’m feeling too weak, feeling sick in my tummy and mouth. And I’m wasting all my young years for things that maybe it’s not worth it at all. Maybe I’m just chasing my own illusions and dreams that will never realize.