I cried. Again and again at different places on the same day for the same reason. In my room 3 times, in the shower once, at school almost. The realization, reality kicks in. Feeling lost. Very very lost. Feeling empty. I can feel the void and the cold turkey in me. D finally finished his exams yesterday but he promised he’ll see me tomorrow. I haven’t seen him since forever. Almost a month. But it’s already 30th of May tomorrow. Why time has to go so fast I don’t have the time to linger around for just a little while longer beside him…..He said he is free on 2nd and 30th only. And I’m leaving the dorm for real on 2nd.
What am I going to do after that? I can’t hold on anything. My memory is so fragile although they are always on repeat and they don’t do the same as his mere presence do. And all these days, I was trying to grasp on whatever I could. I tried to message him, I tried to stalk him, wander what and how he’s doing.
How is he feeling for me? I don’t know. After for so long I still feel the same for him. Why? What can I do about it? All I did is cry.