Alone, I’m feeling deprived and unmotivated. My room looks like a hobo or a hoarder’s home. I’m moving, and I am reluctant to move. Arrrghh. I don’t want to move. And the images of me and him wrapping up stuffs and move out of dorm haunts me. It makes me shiver and burns at the back of my head. I still have 9 days left in the dorm or 4 days till I meet D.

With my backpack and a small suitcase, I walked 15 minutes to my new place from my dorm. I walked way too fast so fast because it was almost dreadful. That street reminds me of a lot of things. And I was walking away from my home of two years in Hong Kong. A place that me and D shared so much together. I was so upset and sad that if I don’t control myself I will cry like a baby or a teenage girl who just got kicked out of her house and wanders at the street in crowd. It is hard for me. It is hard for me to just knowing things is falling apart and there is nothing I can do about it. And now I’m crying like a baby. Worst than a baby. An ugly baby.

This morning I saw my bff, C posted something on his bf’s(Kitty–okay I’m gonna stop call him that. He is now S)  facebook wall . 12 signs you’re dating a man, not a boy.

They are great…..I mean seriously, S is a great guy that you can call him a man. He is qualified of that. But funny thing is, I think D saw it. And he posted,

one day when I am a man and no longer a boy” 

Yup. He definitely saw that post and posted this as return. Funny. Because he is indeed no man but a boy. But cut some slacks. He is 2 years old younger than S and TBH he has changed and grown up much compared to last year. And I freaked out a little when he posted that status. And I freaked out twice as he posted another one.

“many days fell away with nothing to show” 

Part of lyrics from Bastille’s Pompeii. Or maybe not. I’m not entirely sure. I’m not too sure what he is talking about. His study? His achievement? I don’t know. It just mess me up more.

Any good samaritans help me out? Please leave me a message.

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