Today, I felt like I lost everything again. My best friend, D, I felt more distant than ever. As if, I don’t know him so well at all. I bumped into him at the lobby, while I overheard he was going to find another female friend(which she said she don’t like her that much) in the dorm.
It doesn’t matter anyway. It doesn’t. At least I’ll have to convince myself it doesn’t.
Before this, I was studying at the lab with my friends, including S. It was brief. But for sure, he treats me differently. As if he hates me or something. Or I did something terrible that he will just like to keep a safe distance from me. Yes. I know, sometimes I can be toxic, destructive, overly pessimistic. Nonetheless, I guess someone just changed his decisions. Cut me off.
I felt unfamiliar all over again. Strangers everywhere. I spent too much time, thinking, dreaming about things that won’t happen. And they got me.
It hurts me bad. No one understands me.