The void.

I’ve been feeling, deliberating lately. I felt better. I felt free, there is no bad, heavy feelings that comes without notice. I love my recent self. I felt good. I don’t feel like missing D.

Today’s high table event, I was surprised to see D was way too early to be seated, very unlike him, just sitting right behind my assigned table. I got a bit lucky this time. I was assigned to sit with Kitty’s floor. Therefore, I kinda reserved the sit for him, because I don’t want to talk to anyone in my floor other than my bff KY. With my favorite persons in front of me, side way and back. When I thought it might be awkward for me as D was sitting right behind me, while with Kitty sitting in front of me, I felt absolutely fine and I totally forgotten about the existence of D. It was nothing. I felt nothing. As if we are the most familiar strangers. KY did occasionally turn and talk to D and we small chatted. He seems to notice too, that Kitty was sitting right in front of me. After the dinner, D left without saying goodbye and we spent the evening taking more silly pictures.

Kitty is a good one. He is darn cute and adorable and my bffs seem to like us together too. He tried to kneel down a bit just to take good pictures with me(because I’m too short) and I appreciate that. He was jokingly hold my hand and tried to kiss it as showing him as a gentleman. It was a  happy day. A good end. But I hope I am not trying to fill the void. Or as a mean of moving on. I have to be sure that Kitty is not the replacement of D or what-so-ever. He is a good one and I won’t let him go.

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