“I would be lying if I didn’t admit to the simple fact that crushes are, in part, about confirming I’m still worth wanting. That someone else out there might have an office crush on me too. Because we live in a vain world, and I am as narcissistic as the rest. I want to be liked and loved and everything in between. If not, I worry if I have a purpose. If I have a real need to be here. What I crave is new personable discoveries. Those moments where two people click instantaneously. I guess I’m a crush junky if you will. Even the small prick of a crush can sedate me for a few months. Letting me float in a solitary bliss that not even the harshness of reality couldn’t bring me down from. “
I have a crush on this guy in my office and it makes me feel like I’m 15 years old. Maybe younger. Maybe more similar to the first time I realized what a crush meant to me. When I noticed my stomach constricting on sight. How normal “hi’s” and “how’s it going’s” seemed to choke and trip on themselves on their way out. How I’d start to quickly overheat and worry what I was supposed to do or say next. While I have to remember that I’m in my twenties and crushes shouldn’t feel like a heart attack on the rise, I try to revel in the exciting moment that it’s happening and that I still do have emotions that drive me. 25 me and 15 year old me, are not so different afterall.
It’s a soothing reminder that no matter my age, I can still manage to revert so…
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