Yup. I missed his birthday again. Over and over. Haizzz. This is kinda. Pathetic. I mean, I missed Kitty’s bday again.
Last year, I was the mystery secret admirer/Santa who placed a bar of Snicker in his mailbox without putting down my name. Just with his name and wish:
“Happy Birthday Sxxxxxx”
This year, I missed it, as I accidentally mixed up the time. It seems like still no one knows when is his birthday. No wishes on Facebook wall or whatsoever. I bumped into him today on the way doing some errands. I was with my make-ups and I looked like a total hipster, as I was gonna do a play in less than an hour. He was on the way out to dinner, apparently alone and he didn’t come to the play.
Therefore, this year I bought a box of Lindt chocolates for him. It is a bit pricy but I managed to get it only 25HKD. It’s fine. It’s totally worth it anyway. So, as usual I used the exact same type of paper and pen, placed ’em all in a bag and hang at his door.
I hope that will cheer him up a bit.
There is a few things I want to address here today.
Lately, maybe since last week, I’ve experienced chest pain. Several times in different situation. I can feel the pain on my chest when I tried to breathe. It was scary. Crazy scary. I tried to breath really slow because it hurts. It comes and goes. Each time I can felt the pain at different place, but they are all at my chest. There is nothing I can do to ease the pain but to clutch my hand, place in, press hard against my chest. I can almost felt that I gonna die. I can smell my death during those moments. As it comes and goes, I don’t know what to do with it. If I ever die, *touch wood, I don’t think I have much regrets.
2. Choir comp
The choir group at my dorm that I’ve joined recently just received a news. We might want to join next year’s July choir competition at Austria!! I was ecstatic. But at the same time, I doubt myself if I ever manage to make the cut. I’m worried.
3. One year of knowing D.
November. It was 2012’s November. The exact date I don’t recall, but I remembered clearly it was November, where the cold comes and I was hoody all over like now. Now, it’s 15’C and probably the coldest I ever experience in HK.
I love this article. This perfectly portrays what I am/used to be.
I ruminates too much and it tears me down, piece by piece.
Now, I need to keep my calm. I do not intend to go back to that limbo. I can’t handle it.
My beloved James Blunt. I need a happy song. I need to be happy.