Flirt with Kitty/Hope?

I can flirt with him all day. I’m talkin’ about my (previous) crush so-called code name Kitty. Kitty is extremely cute and adorable like a kitty kitty. Don’t get me wrong. He don’t have paws and he is a human. A math major, amateur guitarist/singer, pale-white-pinkish complexion (unlike mine), tall, medium body with cutest smile I have ever seen(maybe a tie with D, but he’s more easy going I’ll say). But for sure, he has a sexy kissable lips. That little reddish pink smooth lips is what attracts me. I am close to smooch him and go crazy on him every time I see that. Luckily I still have much control over myself. 

I can smile and laugh, flirt with him all day. But at the end, it’s different. I felt, nothing. I don’t know why. Is it because my heart wasn’t ‘healed’ yet/ let go of D? I don’t know. My mind keeps telling me to close this chapter and find another guy, but my heart tells me differently. I still felt like clinging to D. I don’t know. I’m so confused that I don’t want to be the one who never get over this, when everything turns out that, me and D are impossible. That very deep down in my heart, I am hoping for something. Some miracles to happen between me and D.

I felt like shit. I am making myself felt like shit. Maybe I’m just PMS-ing and my hormones are raging. I need to calm down.  

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