Stress out/Quiet.

It takes them no time to figure what’s wrong with me. Well, actually quite long. I am obvious and they were clueless. I am/was pissed at myself for pissing at J (not literally), the girl who went to Ghana with me. I am/was pissing at myself for being so useless whenever I/she/they/we/all people (well maybe just me) for comparing me and her. That thought consumes me and kills me(almost literally here). I am calmer now and intend to avoid any possible social events with her. I simply don’t want to act nice, because it disgusts me, myself as a person. It somehow violates my principle as a person. So therefore, I’ve been quiet lately, every time I was with them. And they sensed something is wrong with me and now they kinda… Asked why and why I’ve been weird lately, quiet… They attributed it to me being overly-stressed. Which is partly true. And maybe, in this world, only D knows what’s happening as I never tell anyone other than him. So what I thought is, well, let them think I am stressed out. That will be good. 

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