I had my ear piercings one on my lobe and on my upper ear cartilage. Guess what? I’m still experiencing six-degree of pain, fifty shades of agony. It hurts. But somehow the pain gives me the feelings, feeling of reality and present, feeling slightly alive a bit. At least this kind of self-inflicted pain is not that deliberated, I mean, I didn’t cut myself on my wrists, because that will be much worst. At least, this way is safer. And this might just keep me alive and get me through for this coming few weeks. I need this. And I realizes, I’m so masochistic. I kinda love the pain, as a constant reminder of me being alive.  I somehow finds peace and happiness in pain.


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