100th post and rant again.

I never see this coming so soon. I didn’t expect this. My 100th post on ‘Life of a veganwolf’.

*YAY CHAMPAGNE POPPING*

It all started since this year’s March. It’s only six months ago. The idea of having a blog came from my suggestion to D, I told him to blog out his thoughts because his writings is beautiful and blogging seems like a viable option to him as a place to vent and rant given that during that point of his life he was a mess(or he is a mess now I can’t judge but he is in a better place now). So he ended up blogging anonymously online and he kept it away from me. But this didn’t last for long, as he kept promoting his blog while letting no one knows what is his blog’s name. And I was fueled by passion, paranoia and obsession of knowing what is he thinking and how is his life, I managed to find his blog by accident(or I am a good stalker I don’t know, yes it is by accident I googled the right term and I found it, in a middle of sea of blogs-I KNOW RIGHT? I AM A GOD~) Okay. Back to topic. And looking into his life(secret, dark, private thoughts of his) without his acknowledgements, I saw the real him. And I felt in love with his real sincere naked stripped self. It was a dark place where no one ever should be there, but I’m the one who saw it, read about it and I felt in love with it. It’s a weirdest thing I ever felt and I should be disgusted by him but in fact I’m not. I see his beautiful soul. And yeah. After reading those things and there was/is thousand thoughts and feelings I wanted to tell someone/him while I couldn’t, due to the explicit and sensitive nature, I have to keep this all to myself. And that was the day a ‘Life of a veganwolf’ born. ‘Veganwolf’, doesn’t make any sense isn’t it? How can a wolf be vegan?   This name is my nickname when I was small, I will explain later one day but it seems to be appropriate as a title isn’t it? Okay and since then, I rant and rant about life, love, relationship, him, people and everything and him again in this blog. Well, sometimes too much I guess. It turned 100 within 6 months. @@ Which is almost once every two days I post a blog or reblogged something~ Okay I think I rant too much. But this is somewhat appropriate given that no one will give me lecture after I posted anything on this blog or I should say this place is my safe heaven, a place that I can be myself and be the extreme ranter and no one will judge me( I see what you did there, you are judging me~XD) But anyway, this is for the best. This is the right way to vent out my hard feelings,  thoughts and shits and I find it therapeutic to do so. Therefore, I don’t see myself stop doing this any sooner.

****

I don’t see the point. I’m the nuisance. I’m the barrier to him. It seems like he’s pretty preoccupied with his life again. Like usual. And it seems like I’m the one who is trying to take up his time waste his time on nothing but meaningless midnight chats while interrupting his beauty sleep, which consequently causing him to skip/sleep in his morning class next day. Well, I constantly knowing the consequence of my actions on him, while I couldn’t help myself keep finding him at those odd hours. I always have this self-debate and it ends with this ‘screw it, I’m gonna find him no matter what.’  And here we go again, the cycle, I’ll be feeling guilty the next day and it repeats again no matter what. Somehow I always lack of self control. But if I ever stop finding him(insisting, ram into his room) he might just ‘drift off’, and I’ll be just another stranger. And I never want that. So as conclusion, SCREW IT I’M GONNA COME TO YOUR ROOM. *yikes =______=

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s