High hopes.

My bbfs from dorm had a pillow talk without D. Just 4 of us.  Luckily D was not around. If not I’m sure we’ll be damn awkward. They were shooting me with difficult questions and comments like…

“You and D, so how?”

“What’s your type?”

“Is D your type?”

I was acting idiot like usual. But I’ll have no idea what to do if ever they try to shoot me with these questions again in front of him. Damn. Well really damn lucky he wasn’t there. After a long pillow talk till 2am, we left and went back to our own rooms.

I asked D to come over to my place to pick up his stuffs. I was rather nervous. Because his stuffs in my room, it’s the only reason that he’ll come over to my room. I was scared he’ll just pick up and ran away, never come back. But he didn’t. We chatted for 2 hours, till 4.30am morning. I tried to avoid any topics that gonna create awkwardness between us, but maybe I was trying too hard. He asked me a few times how I was lately. I said nothing special. But maybe this question came to me all of a sudden and I have too many to share with him that, instead of telling him all the shits, I forgotten about them and replied him “huh anything? nothing special.”

Or maybe it just that I was too ecstatic that he did care about me. I was studying his face. I haven’t got the chance to do this quite a long time. Both of us just chilling out in my tiny room, with him making himself comfortable on my bed. He didn’t change much. Same old him. I miss his smile. But my heart don’t really feel the same. It was familiar, but I don’t know how to say this. It was strange. Strange feeling.

Before he left, he asked me to go listen to a song by Kodaline- High hopes. I love it. I love this guy’s voice and it’s exactly my genre and this is not his usual taste of music. But the lyrics is meaningful. Maybe, maybe this lyrics means how he really felt. Maybe it’s about us.  I can’t be sure, but please, listen to this if you never listen to this song before. It’s amazing.


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