Hello stranger. This is the first time ever me writing my blog in the campus. I’m too brain-fucked I guess. Things are messing with my mind and I wanted to just go spontaneous combustion or burst into tears in public if I could. I wanted just run back to my dorm and cry. But I have class later and I’m working now. But I know, crying won’t solve my problems. If tears really can solve problems, I think my problems will be long solved. While I need to relieve my feelings. That heavy feelings in my heart, dragging my mind and soul into the limbo of unknown. I need someone to talk to. I need him. I need D.
Oh well. He is part of my problems too. We’ve gone out with friends together and talk with their presence, as usual, the usual perkiness. Nothing seems to change. But he still not willing to talk to me, in person, alone. He won’t pick up my calls, reply my messages, whatsapps. And the only way of communication is through a whatsapp group that we’re both inside with our common friends.
Disappointments. I feeling dreadful. Sick. We still need our alone time to talk things straight. We need to go back to normal. My feelings/mood won’t get better if we don’t talk things out tonight. I’ll try to get him talk tonight again.
And sophomore year. Not good. I wasn’t expecting this much of work load for this semester. Too damn much readings. More than 100 pages per week. I’m gonna kill myself real soon. I am too stressed out. I need the talking therapy. I need him.