My attachment issue.

“You’re born alone, you’ll live alone and die alone”

Slim bitch’s words sounded mean and cruel. But for sure, she is right. She is right about we are born alone and we all will die alone (unless you’re a twin then you born together). 

My attachment issue. She attribute my latent lesbian behaviors to my attachment issue, as I always been like this since I’m far far away from home. I used to scared of being alone, eat alone and etc. I was damn scared because I’m lonely. But these never happens to me during my A-levels, as I always have both slim bitch and fat bitch with me. They’re my emotional pillars. And I was always pre-occupied with their weekly  daily issues/problems, giving the advice, help them out. And I oversighted my own problems, as dealing with theirs was tough and busy enough. Too much of distractions. 

Now, I’m away from them. Too far away. I’m alone. My mind are more freed. But it fills with more thoughts, I got more introspective. I started to stare at my own life and I think too much. And that leads to no where. To fill up the emptiness(presence of people and mind), I call people profusely, using vibers, skypes, facebooks, etc. Slim bitch was disgusted my overly-attach behavior. But I’m better than last semester. At least I don’t really call that many times or lengthy anymore.

When I thought I got better, but actually it just turn worst. After my relationship with D turned odd, I don’t know what to do. And I’m consciously knowing that, I often place/focus my emotions on someone. Therefore, I somehow shift my emotions into another person, which is C, the girl from my internship team. From J, the boy who thought he is a man, to D, a guy with latent homosexuality to C, another gal with confused sexuality. Is this ever going to end? 

Conclusion of slim bitch: “you really need a overly-attach boyfriend.”

Yeah. She is right.


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