“How are you doing now?”

23 July.

How are you doing now?

This is a simple yet the hardest question to answer. Did he mean how am I coping with my life here in Ghana? My sickness? Knowing my bff is having eating disorders? My awkward communication problem with my group mate? Or dealing with my feelings towards him?
I don’t really get it. I am confused.
Yesterday I was crying in the phone, while my bff was kind enough to listen to me crying about him. Again. I couldn’t contain how I felt and I desperately need someone to hear me cry(Yes. I prefer someone knowing I’m sad rather than me crying alone).
I replied him.

I’m fine. One thing for sure I’m black now ==

I tried to be perky, although I was devastated. I couldn’t let him know I’m in distraught and despair. I’m being a emotional bitch and I don’t need him to know this. I haven’t been shedding my tears in front of him, but I’ve been crying a lot without him knowing. He don’t have to know this. I’m actually weaker than he thought but I have to be strong, at least in front of him.

24 July.
He hasn’t reply yet. I don’t dare to ask him how is he doing now.


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