Ignored. Feeling like a shit. I decided to talk to my mom about this. I told her about my love/friendship life, through Facebook message(I could never talk to my mom about this face-to-face THAT IS TOO EMBARRASSING X.X).
What she had told me I already knew. I knew what I’ve to do. I knew it all. She was worried that I would somehow face difficulty in relationship because I will links my parents’ relationship problem with me. I was a bit of shock to be honest. I wasn’t that sure/realize my parents were in such a mess before this. I know, couple does fights sometimes, I guess I underestimated the seriousness. Bu luckily, they are better now. They are in a better position now. Another thing which startled me is that, my mom admit that sometimes she felt confused too, I mean in terms of sexuality. WTH RIGHT?? MY MOM CONFUSED ABOUT HER SEXUALITY TOO? Which means before this what I suspect might be true? WTF
But knowing this, I felt more open and free to talk to my mom more.
I am confused too, to be honest. I am still, sometimes confused. Sometimes I find myself admiring physique of females. I do imagine how it felt like to kiss a lips of a girl. I do still, want a girl from my past, T, who is my classmate for more than 3 years and she sat next to me for 2 years. I love her. I always do. Sometimes I still miss her. But, I never dare to tell her how I felt because we were about to graduate by then, and we went separate ways soon after. I haven’t been seeing her for some time. She is always the girl I wanted to be with. But that is the past already.