A lost soul.

Yesterday I watched the movie -The Guilt Trip. It’s a story about an unemployed son with her single mother. Due to study and work, he has to be away from her mother. However, due to some twist plots, he went on a car trip with her mom.

Somehow, I see myself in the story. I am now away from home. I’ve been away from home since ever. But somehow, me and my family never really talk like my friends do. I am never the secure attachment type. I rarely go back to my parents or talk to them when I face some hardship. Oh well, unless it is money. My parents are very much confident that I won’t be doing anything inappropriate or crazy. And I have almost full freedom to do anything. Almost. But still good enough, better than any of my friend and I know I’m blessed.

Somehow, I am never really feel like connected to my parents. I love them, it’s not that I don’t love them. It just that maybe I’m searching for more. More than that. I want to be loved. I want to have something that belongs to me. I want someone to love me, care for me. And I’ll love him back and care for him too.

I guess this is just too much to ask. I should be content with what I have.

But in my life, love is something that keeps me going, alive. It gives me a purpose, leads me to somewhere. At least it gives my heart a direction.

But now I’m just lost. Save me, my dear.    

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