Did I ever mentioned that D was never my type?
I always have a type. Older than me. Probably tall, lean, tanned-skin with six-packs. Of course, with a sunny beach boy smile. Like Taylor Lautner~ YEAH~ THAT’s RIGHT!!~ ❤
D is one year younger than me. He has pale white baby-skin,, nor-fat-nor-meaty body, his body language is totally gay if I don’t know him at all. Not really my type.
But probably the reason why I’m so attracted to him is because of his accent. He is a local Hong Kong people but somehow he has this amazing American/sometimes British accent while he never been outside of this country before! And probably with baby fat on his cheeks when he smiles. Oh yeah he has this really cheeky smile that I couldn’t resist. So adorable. Oh well, this is making me sounds like a pedophile.
O’kay talk about serious stuffs now.
Sometimes I think that fall in love with my best friend is a huge mistake. Nothing much like Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat. He is younger than me. I was never into people who is younger than me because I think they are mentally immature and unable to match and comprehend my thinking. But he proved me wrong. He is one of few boy that thinks like a man. I’m fascinated by his thinking and ideas. But he is still a boy, in the process of growing up. He’s life is still messy as shit. Overwhelming extra-cocuriculums, unscheduled timetable, skipping classes, training, last minute assignments and exams. This is HK-style I know, last minute thing is their thing. I get it. But sometimes it frustrated me seeing him like this. Such a messy life. I know I have no right to piss at him or do anything because I am no one and that is his life.
But did I mention that he loves to control me even we are just friends?
He dictates what to eat, comments on what I wear ( he once commented I wear like a whore, although it was just a plain slightly low-v cut shirt) and even pick on my beauty products that I ended up go beauty product shopping with him (he has this crazy interest on which chemical will cause cancer) and changed all my beauty products. He always has this habit of checking my phone, messages, whatsapps, facebook message, everything. He can just look through my private messages in front of me without asking my permission and he ask me who is this guy and who is that guy. I couldn’t stop him doing so too.
‘Why are you letting him to do these?!??’ My friend screamed at me through Skype. She couldn’t take this and disbelieve I let him keep doing this and didn’t trying to stop him.
Yeah. I’m a bit crazy. I just let him intrude my life. I act like a tiny little puppy, and just let him do what he likes to me. Oh well, to be honest, I could be his submissive if he allows me. Slowly, he tries to dominate my life even we are just friends. Selfish right? But I still let him do so. I love him dominating my life and tell me what to do. I will obey his instructions and do what he told me too. There is so much of urge to be his submissive.
Yesterday I asked him not to go for an event because he is late for everything and exam is tomorrow and he could really use the time to study well. He hesitated but agreed with me. But he still went to the event behind my back anyway, as I saw the photos on FB. I felt so frustrated. I felt the need to control him. Then I realized. I’m somehow dominating him too.