I get crazy, sometimes. I know that. Like once I almost shed my tears in front of you. That is one of my darkest moments. I saw you shocked and don’t know what to do. Standing there, like a lost sheep. Probably wanted to run out of the room. I hold my tears back. Tried not to cry. I afraid I scared you. The way you reacted, fears I saw in you. You couldn’t take it. Momentary depressed me. Yeah. You are still young. I understand you scared of girls crying. That’s what I do. Sometimes be strong and perky for too long, I wanted to shed my shield, bring my guard down. I see you couldn’t take it. It’s fine. All I need you to do is hold me saying,”It’s okay. It will be fine.”
I know, you wanted to say to me. But you’re just too scared. I understand how we tried to communicate and speaks our hearts through musics. Like the song, ‘Little Talks’ by Of Monsters & Men that you sent me:
I hope you I don’t like walking around this old and empty house
So hold my hand, I’ll walk with you, my dear
The stairs creak as I sleep, it’s keeping me awake
It’s the house telling you to close your eyes
Some days I can’t even dress myself
It’s killing me to see you this way
Cause though the truth may vary
This ship will carry
Our bodies safe to shore
Hey! Hey! Hey!
There’s an old voice in my head that’s holding me back
Well tell her that I miss our little talks
Soon it will all be over, and buried with our past
We used to play outside when we were young
And full of life and full of love
Some days I don’t know if I am wrong or right.
Your mind is playing tricks on you my dear
I know that sometimes, when words spoke will change everything. But I think, you have your reasons, not to speak. A very good one. Until you cleared your mind. It is best to keep it this way. This is the best that we both can do. Although, it might be hurtful. But, it is the only way to keep everything normal and happy. Knowing that you are so confused, sometimes I wanted to say,” tell me what you thinking.” and hope you will tell the truth. I know you can’t. You probably wanted to but god forbids. Maybe because I’m not ready too. I don’t know what I to do if even you made up your mind.