What to do?

Everyday. Since the day I saw your blog, my heart never stayed the same. It somehow gave me the answers to everything you did and every confusion I have. I’m glad. I’m happy, sincerely. Knowing the facts, somehow gave me some sort of peace to my heart. But at the same time, I’m worry. How long is it going to take for you to get bored, sick of me? I don’t think myself as a lovable person. Maybe it is just me being passive, negative. Maybe this is just me being crazy and psychotic.

I really love how your smile can be so perky, somehow felt really sincere and heart-warming. How your scent smells so gentle yet comfortable. The presence of you somehow is all I need. I need to know that you are alright. I felt the need to know how you feel, where you are, what you’re thinking, probably know everything about you. The presence of you, somehow so comfortable. The nearness of you, somehow is what I need. To be with me. Talk to me. Laugh with me. Comfort me when I’m sad. Cheer me up when I’m feeling bored and down.

Knowing you is a bless. But as time goes by, I wondered. Can we, be together? I have wonderful imagination but one thing is I couldn’t really imagine how we look like if we ever be together. Seriously. But the thought of that, was’t that bad. It is kinda inviting. I need him to be around me. The need of his presence. Sometimes, it is hard for me when he is away for long as he goes home. Sometimes I think that how am I going to hold myself together when I’m at Ghana? It would be a real torture. Seriously.

How about if we are indeed together? Are we going to be survive each time we separates during each long holidays? ¬†Separated, apart, at different continent. How about when the semester ends? Will he be able to stay back, be in the same residence with me in the fall semester? How about at the end of the 4 years study? Where will we be? These thoughts has been haunting me for long. I wanted to do something, I really hope I can. But sadly, I couldn’t. I’m confused. Is he worth it? I want him and I have no idea what to do.


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